July 12, 2018 >

July 12, 2018 >

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An Incomplete List of Objects I Taught to Love Me

by Carson Beker

“Will you be replaced by Samantha the Sex Robot?” – The Mirror, screenshot from interview with Vibez Owner Tracey Whitmore.

1. Electric Toothbrush. Be vers.

2. Mister Coffee Equipped with timer. Wake me up at 6:50 am, ten minutes before my father dies. Don’t ask me what I’m doing in the kitchen, what I’m doing awake, what I’m doing with my life, why I need more coffee.

3. Answering Machine. When the phone rings, tell me first thing that no one is dying. Tell me that you still love me. Tell me that all the kids have come home safely. Tell me they’re still dancing in that nightclub. Tell me no one’s on a rooftop in North Carolina with more than too much heroin, too many guns, and that girlfriend screaming somewhere in the woods. Tell me no one is standing on a chair with a rope around their neck. Tell me no one is calling to say goodbye, and if they are-

4. Voice Mail. Listen, take a message, interrupt before it’s time.

5. The Joy of Cooking: Tell me what to do with a nub of ginger, a half cup of rice, and radishes that seemed like a good idea at the time. Tell me it’s a matter of tiny steps, one thing, then the next, then the next. Tell me how to make a comforting soup. Tell me how to survive the winter. Tell me that if I’m starving, this is how I can take down a squirrel, around the neck first, peeling the skin back slow.

6. First Vibrator (Purple). Get us pulled out of line at the airport.

7. Second Vibrator (Hitachi). Pretend you really just came over to rub my back.

8. Library card. Forgive me, eventually, no matter what I do. And forgive me. And forgive me.


Carson Beker (Ash) is a fiction writer, playwright, storyteller, former Fiction Editor of Fourteen Hills Literary Magazine and co-founder of the Pirate Art School The Escapery. Their stories has appeared in Cutthroat, Spunk, Foglifter, Gigantic Sequins, and Radar Literary Series. Their plays have been produced or in development through Custom Made Theater, Exit Theater, and Z-Below. They are a Lambda Emerging Writer Fellow in Fiction, and a former Tin House Scholar, and a member of Clarion West 2018. They can be found atGhostCatProductions.com and at www.Escapery.org. They are most definitely haunted.